Personal Entry- Loose Ends
Before me, they both stood. Worry consumed their eyes, I could see their gaze shift to each other every so often as they searched for what was happening. It was time. Time for me to take the next step in my life.
Ever since I injured Scarlet and the…schism…the split within, I have not been well. Luckily, I was able to recognize the anger consuming me from within and, apparently, subconsciously, I was able to wall it off. Only during times of extreme stress or violence, did it break out. These were becoming more and more frequent. I was quickly loosing control. The strain on my body, whenever I returned to a calmer state was becoming too much. Several days at a time, I would be bed-ridden. This condition is not one which an Imperial Officer can have during a war, and survive. Too many people are dependent upon me, I cannot fail them, I will not fail them.
I hope that they will be strong for me, for themselves, and each other. To see the only two loves of my life standing side by side, without a knife in the hand waiting for the other…concern consuming their face, worry filling their eyes…It pained me to part. A shiver went through my body as I felt waves of fear radiate from both of them. It is my hope that I have ensured both of their safety. I worry for both of them. Scarlet: powerful, yet innocent and headstrong. She is not careless, but she needs help from time to time, someone to lean on. With my departure and Deomo’s battle, there are not many left that I trust. Ebe is one of the few. With only a word, she will do what I need her to, no money is necessary, no coercing. Others, I still trust, but not as explicitly as my ex wife. Commander Carrick strikes me as an honorable Imperial Officer, he will do his duty, but he will do what is right. I know what I ask of him is not easy. To harbor a rebel within his ranks. The 1,000,000 credits should facilitate the paperwork and turn the necessary heads the other way. I will owe him significantly.
Ever since I injured Scarlet and the…schism…the split within, I have not been well. Luckily, I was able to recognize the anger consuming me from within and, apparently, subconsciously, I was able to wall it off. Only during times of extreme stress or violence, did it break out. These were becoming more and more frequent. I was quickly loosing control. The strain on my body, whenever I returned to a calmer state was becoming too much. Several days at a time, I would be bed-ridden. This condition is not one which an Imperial Officer can have during a war, and survive. Too many people are dependent upon me, I cannot fail them, I will not fail them.
I hope that they will be strong for me, for themselves, and each other. To see the only two loves of my life standing side by side, without a knife in the hand waiting for the other…concern consuming their face, worry filling their eyes…It pained me to part. A shiver went through my body as I felt waves of fear radiate from both of them. It is my hope that I have ensured both of their safety. I worry for both of them. Scarlet: powerful, yet innocent and headstrong. She is not careless, but she needs help from time to time, someone to lean on. With my departure and Deomo’s battle, there are not many left that I trust. Ebe is one of the few. With only a word, she will do what I need her to, no money is necessary, no coercing. Others, I still trust, but not as explicitly as my ex wife. Commander Carrick strikes me as an honorable Imperial Officer, he will do his duty, but he will do what is right. I know what I ask of him is not easy. To harbor a rebel within his ranks. The 1,000,000 credits should facilitate the paperwork and turn the necessary heads the other way. I will owe him significantly.
posted by Mark at 28.4.05
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