Personal Entry- Flight to Heal a Heart

Kor Vella? What am I doing here? My speeder was flaming, the engine almost overheated. I landed in Coronet, but why am I here? Then it came back to me.

Scarlet, the child, Deomo, all of it…I must have rode here in a haze. *pain*

I sensed Scarlet had left my house, kark!! She is supposed to be taking it easy. Am I going to have to tie her down when I leave? Why does she risk her child? I felt her wonderment at a giant peko peko. Gods, please do not let her try to pick a feather, they really do not like it when you do that, and in her shape, I doubt she could fend off an attack. I implored her to return to the safety of a town. To Keren, amongst the NSF guards. There is very little crime in my old city, never has been.

She was at the starport idle. Then, suddenly she left, taking it easy huh? Do not worry about me huh? I found her at a gazebo out in the water. Quite a beautiful place, this must have been what she wanted to show me. It was…hard to look her in the eye, the tears would not leave. I hid behind my helmet, my shroud of shame…

I wish now, looking back, she could see the pain on my face as I raged at her. Anger consumed me, not directed at her, but rather, at Fate. Damn her (Fate) for doing this to me…Again!!! I turned from her and felt her approach from behind. She reached for me, the pain pulled me away from her touch, but the ache in my heart for her beckoned me to take her hand. The warmth of her hand and her love spread through out my body, encased my heart, and shattered the shell that was trying to form. The tears flowed. I knew the mistake had been made. My pain hurt her, but no more. No matter what room she has for me in her life, I will gladly fill it. She asked for me to remove my helmet. The tears flowed as she reached for me; I fell into her arms and cried on her shoulder. To think of the strength I have shown in the face of adversity, and to see the weakness I have now…Her life being a part of mine is truly important.

We decided to leave and headed for the starport. We flew to Theed to board her sorosub into space. We launched, then once out of the atmosphere she stood:

“Fly us somewhere pretty.”

Her, in this ship with me, was all the beauty I could ever need. I remembered a fire-red nebula in an outlying sector around Corellia. Once the coordinates were entered the hyperdrive kicked in and we were off.

“Wow.” “WOW!!!”
*chuckle*

She moved form window to window peering out at the colors. I was remembered of the first few times she flew with me. I had to have Envy sit with her in a hallway in the middle of the ship. She became so ill at the slightest movement. Now, she moved around like a little kid at a candy store. Maybe someday, she would be willing to fly in my gunner’s seat against some pirates. I could at least give her an outstanding show.

Once she was satisfied with the view, had taken her pictures, we moved to sit and talk a bit. A wave of pain hit her; I reached with my mind for her child, trying to soothe it. The child reached for me back, recognizing me. This is a concern. Deomo’s child must not imprint herself onto me. I am not the father and will not allow him to be replaced. No matter how I may wish to be. It will not happen. My soul nor my honor would allow that.

She curled in my lap and began that soft rumble; like a cat’s purr. I felt something from my inner being. A feeling of pure bliss and love wanted to escape. I never wanted to leave this place, this time. I tried to purr as she had.

*purr….cough!! cough!!....purr*

I will have to practice, and dream that we may have many more nights like this one that will give me reason to want to show her what I learn.