Personal Entry- Release

I woke concerned that I had fallen asleep out in the wild and was rained on. Then it hit me, I am not in the wild, I am in the cave. I am not lying in a puddle. The moisture I feel is my own sweat. Gods, what has happened? Why am I here?

*for her and her child*

Then it hit me. The spice…I reached into my bag for a container of Muon. Looking at it curiously I rolled it around in my hand, studying it from all sides.

*rage*

I throw it up into the air and before it can begin its downward decent, my FWG5 is pulled and a single shot sends it shattering into nothingness. The gun is holstered before the first shard hits the ground.

*No more*

My thoughts return to the one thing that has consumed my mind during its waking hours: Scar’let’s child. Deomo must know. I had considered not telling him, but Scar’let would have once she discovered the truth. How easy it would be to have him killed, raise the child as my own, regardless of if it is or not. Even after all that has happened to me, I cannot bring myself to do such a horrid thing.

“Sometimes, a person has to do what is right, versus what is easy.”

This is right, telling him is right. To hell with meeting him face to face. I cannot even stomach that. To tell a lover of the one I love her child may be his, or mine? No thank you. A simple comm. letter will do. I doubt he would do the same. Deomo seems to have issue with the right versus wrong concept. Everything to him is an order, if it is an order, it is right. I sent him a message then contacted Scar’let via our bond. I could sense her close and could tell she was troubled. She does not know yet. She…did not take it as well as I would have thought. Scar’let was concerned with Deomo and I, not herself as she should be. Deomo was battling the Pendant, but did not seem to realize it. I picked up whispers of his struggle from my bond with Scar’let.

“Go to him Scar’let, he needs you.” She looked at me in shock.

“Sometimes, a person has to do what is right, versus what is easy.”

She would not leave me in my state. I was wounded, badly from my ordeal, but could move and felt reenergized from the lack of poison in my system. Deomo was on Dantooine. I flew ahead to ensure her flight path would be clear. The pirates were no match for my focused rage. The outpost was soon cleared out for Scar’let’s arrival. She insisted I get myself healed. I reached into my pack and began to pull on my flight suit. I struggled. Suddenly, she was behind me. Scar’let smiled at me and reached up and helped me with the suit.

*love*
I left her to deal with Deomo. Once healed, I searched out Ebe. She had to know too. I told her of the baby, and she was excited for me!! *shock* What I did not expect was her anger once I told her of Deomo, and the possibility it was his. I hope Scar’let has the patience to explain to her what is going on. I could not. My anger clouded my words. Again to my shock Ebe surprised me once more, she offered to be Scar’let’s midwife. Gods, that woman…Such strength, such nobility. What a kind heart. She knows nothing but love for others. I welled with pride when she told me of her offer. I could think of no one better suited for the task. I hope Scar’let considers her offer of help.