Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Personal Entry- Day of Reckoning

"You know you must...for her, and for yourself. Trust your Tai'Shan. Do not waiver in your convictions now."

Why not? Waivering would mean gaurunteed survival. Sure I would be hunted, but I have been hunted before, most of my life. Scar'let would have Deomo to help her. He could protect her. Perhaps that is the best option. End the Empire's hunt for the temple. Give them myself, let Scar'let move on to perhaps one better suited to be her Tai'Shan...*sacrifice*

*Tai'Shan!!! Please...help, it is Deomo, he faught Aico, he is badly beaten.* The bond calls, and I must answer...How could I ever turn my back on the bond? Her? Our love? I knew the answer before I responded, *Wait there and be careful*. Jumping on my speeder to meet them at the temple, I contemplated what I was doing. Here I was rushing to help Scar'let's other Tai'Shan, her other lover *pain*, the person tasked with arresting me. What have I become? Why have I not ordered his death and begun my process of disappearing? *duty, honor*

Scar'let had erected a small field base to help with treating his wounds. When I arrived she was frantically rushing around his limp body, trying to stop the bleeding. Her tiny med robot, Pips always underfoot, unsure of where it needed to go. I gently pulled her aside, as I pulled out my comm to call in a favor of an entertainer guild. the dispatched someone to my location as I bagan the task of putting my Tai'shan's lover back together. *pain, honor* Scar'let whispered words to him as I jostled his body, trying to gain access to the massive wounds. She reassured him that everything was fine. He was confused, lost, unsure of where he was or what was going on. I ignored it all, and focused on my work. He was her Tai'shan, as am I. Without him, she is not whole. Without me, she will need him. He must live for her, she will need his strength. Once the dancer arrived we moved him into the Temple. She sat with him and held him in her arms as he weakly peered up to the lithe form moving before him. He began to become coherent from the dancing, his mind healing, remembering...Allowing his duty to be postponed, and having the sight of him in her arms be too much for me, I retreated to the shrine in the basement, giving the spirit of the fallen hero a soft prayer and a few tears.

Scar'let reached to me asking what was wrong, I assured her I was fine and that I would rejoin them once Deomo was in better shape. Once he was I stepped upstairs and out onto the entry way of the temple, looking at the Dantooine sky, knowing this may be my last chance. Scar'let came out, worried. I told her to have faith and be strong. She will be victorious over what is about to be laid before her. A tear formed, then on her, we hugged. It pained me to let go. So much so that I knew at that moment I was not letting go of her forever, that I was not giving up on our bond, our love. Control, I was giving up control of my life and entrusting it with another: my Tai'Shan, my love...Mind, Body, and Spirit, as one.

I suppose Deomo knew to give us some time to ourselves, for shortly after he gingerly sauntered out and stood before me. Face to face with destiny. I offered my hands for the application of his restraints. He asked for my weapons. Foolish...or...trusting, he did not ask for ALL of my weapons nor did he search me. Bad idea. Even though I have willingly offered myself up to this, what may be the final chapter of my life, I do not plan to go easily, or without a fight. He bound my wrists as I sat upon my speeder, and reached to my controls to make my speeder follow his own. Long since I had augmented my speeder with an access code that causes it to only accept commands once it is entered, since he had not, my speeder would not follow. No matter, my word is my bond, I followed him duitfully. We shuttled to Talus. I sensed, remorse...Weak fool. "Do your duty Deomo, for her sake." I would not have his weakness risk her. He escroted me to their city's holding cell. Wow, three imperial bases together, SSS is much stronger then I had imagined. We travelled to the holding cell where he opened the door for me. I stepped inside and sat wit hmy back to the wall, facing outwards towards the door of the cell. How odd, perhaps a long lost instinct of man. Again, he hesitated, pausing when he should have slammed the door shut. Again I told him of his duty, my anger rising that he would risk everything, without thinking. It was done. I was in custody and awaiting my future.

"I love you my Tai'Shan, remember... trust"

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