Journal Entry- Sacrifice

Rites....Deomo...Aico.....when will this all end? When will I ever have my own life back?

I was on Dathomire, tempting Deomo to arrest me so that he would be willing to go through the rites. I lost myself in the Feral calling...slaughtering Nightsister Rangers...a surprisingly tough force sensitive foe...They were all too predictable, kill one, leave her for the next to find, kill the new ranger...I wanted to be alone, to fight out this pain i felt from Kimbrya's words...two Tai'Shan? How can the person I have turned my life upside down for, have the same bond with another? Especially him...I have no ill feelings towards the man, but the beast that hides within is a danger. He must learn control. The rites could do that for him...I know what the empire has planned for me...but still it is worth knowing Deomo may learn balance, especially if our paths are destined to keep overlapping....*sacrifice*

I..heard her...and I felt her when she landed....my resolve strengthened and I was instantly pulled form the feral...However, in her effort to come to me, she never made it...she lost herself in the bloodlust, and i went to her...corpses and the flash of her blade greeted me. her Dance of Death is quite a sight to be taken in, but not when she looses herself...she becomes an animal..a lifeless, angry soul intent on only destruction without purpose. Even with our bond, if she was to truely loose herself, I am afraid she would turn on me...that is why she too, must go through the rites. I do not think I could bring myself to take her down. Once she had regained control, I began to speak to her about the Rites. As fate would have it, she was Called by Him...typical....what timing...I tried to warn her that I would not be well received. Deomo and I had exchanged words earlier, it did not go well. We rushed to Dantooine...he was deep in a feral rage...he did not notice me keeping him on his feet as he battled...several times, I almost lost him. In his rage he was wreckless, but seemed...frightened like a wild creature, striking out at anything around it...once the battle calmed, his rage turned to me...for once, because it was the right thing, I backed away...I have never backed away from anything...sometimes, that is the best way to gain the trust of a wild creature, show a hint of fear. What is a little pride anyway? *sacrifice*

I left, and urged Scar'let to follow Deomo, to talk to him...my presecnce only angers him. Apparently they spoke at length in the temple. Eventually the disease Sacrlet was hit with during the battle became too much and she called out to me through our Tai'Shan bond. I was orbiting the planet in my Tie, anticipating the need of my help. I landed and quickly travelled to the temple. In route, Deomo called me on my comm, "Your presecnce is required at the temple." Calm, even...he had...calmed...something had changed...I sensed a darkness in Scarlet's mind, a darkness gained from touching Deomo's necklace. What evil does it contain? Is this from the creatures Kimbrya told me about? Could it all be true? Could Deomo have killed no one?

I spoke with Deomo about the rites, their importance...he seemed distant, yet??? Then he did something that actually caught me off guard, he showed concern, concern for Scarlet and I...then it was all too clear. Kimbrya told him what she told me of Deomo's blood. It holds a close chemical match, the same match that produces our Tai shan bond...I tried to keep it from Scarlet. I did not want her avoiding the Rites to prevent something form happening to our bond. Deomo insisted I tell her...I did and she spiralled into more confusion. the poor creature, she has had to endure so much lately...I do not know why I am compelled to do this, for Deomo...I must know the truth. Two Zabrak bonded makes much more sense then a Zabrak and a human. Perhaps I am the anomoly, the accident...*Fate bites back* Regardless, my love for Scar'let knows no limit. I will see to her well being and happiness, even if it is not destined to be with me. It is the right thing to do...I do not want to let her go but if that is what Fate chooses, then so be it. *sacrifice*

This is why I must do what I have set out too, after the rites, I must...eliminate a threat to everyone. It must be done. Remember my Tai Shan, trust in my love for you, I will never forget... *sacrifice*