Personal Entry- Questioning this Calling

This is quickly becoming a task I wish I could dismiss. For any progress made with Scarlet or Brem, the efforts seem to be for naught with Deomo. He has much anger. I am not equipped to deal with such hatred, at least, in a peaceful way...I am glad I anticipated difficulties with Deomo and held Scar'let's rites differently. Hopefully she will now be equipped to help me. I cannot be the one to push Deomo to face his fears. She must. He would surely lash out at me. I will I suppose, have to wait from a distance, in case he turns...He will be put down, he must be taught to understand. If he lashes out at his guide then I will use my own methods. His anger is so great. He will see nothing but the image of my death in his head. Hmmm...Perhaps...Perhaps that is what he may need to see...*looks down in thought* the feeling of betrayal from a Tai Shan, even a weak, newly discovered link is a powerful emotion...Perhaps my death, and Scarlet's sense of pain and loss will be enough to jolt Deomo into understanding...He is not a creature of destruction..He is his own being, he has a soul and ultimately is the only one to hold dominion over it. *sacrifice*

Brem is another subject...I feel he grew up a lot last night. He had to face his failures and learn by them. It was funny to watch the wave of realization wash over his face as he realized his failure of the trial was much like his failure in rescuing Kimbrya. It as a painful memory to force him to dig up...but I had to turn that knife in his back a bit to make him understand...

Kimbrya faltered...She pushed herself too much. Perhaps me pushing Brem weakened her because of their bond. I have no doubt she lent him her strength. The foolish thing love will make us do *sacrifice*