Personal Entry-Pain, Confusion

The headaches keep coming but now, they do not arrive alone. An overwhelming feeling of being 'lost, troubled, confused' keeps washing over me. My only defense is to mask the weakness with the other overwhelming feelings I have had as of late...revenge, destruction, chaos...Maybe being cooped up in my house because of this minor nosebleed and blood abnormality is beginning to affect me. I need to get out, stretch my legs, let my animals run free a bit, let them...kill a bit...Perhaps we will travel to Dantoo...no
perhaps Yavin 4..Why would I feel the need to go....

Something is wrong with me, but I do not know what. I may have to relinquish this mission to someone else. But how can I? I would have no influence on who would take my place. I cannot imagine if it was handed to a bloodthirsty Imperial who's answer for everything is death...Not everything can be learned from post-mortem analysis. Cloning is such a touchy prospect as well. Something always seems to be lost. Take for example Scar'let...I have never witnessed such an adverse reaction to being cloned. Perhaps it has something to do with what happened right before she was struck down. At such close range my comm-tap was acting up but I heard 'that' voice. I do not know what he was saying, but whatever it was, sent Scar'let into a frenzied panic. In her haste she bolted, and ran right into a squad of Stormtroopers. Those mindless bastards, too stupid to realize she was in shock from fear...They gunned her down before I could get to her...I cussed them out slapped them around. One, I did not notice has rank, and fined me. I had thought I outranked all of the Stormtroopers. Oh well, I suppose the requisition for the AT-ST will have to wait. Never again will a Stormtrooper talk to me so.if only he knew what I was capable of...only I wasn't bound by my self-restraint..He could have found out...

I find my thoughts consumed with the life of one, and the death of another. I am trying all I can to keep one alive, while the other tries to reverse engineer all my efforts. He normally would be dealt with in a manner most befitting the lowly creature that he is, but this is not an easy prospect considering he is attached to the hip of a Colonel in the Imperial Navy... Does not says much for the Colonel but he seems to realize what this person represents, and the instability demonstrated.

Kimbrya will be released from the hospital soon. Unfortunately, my mind is in no shape to question her. So out of focus...I hesitate to expose myself to such trauma while I am in this condition. Poor girl...I will discover what part she plays in this. She needs time with Brem...they are..I think it is called Tr'ansian, or something. From the minimal research I have completed, this seems to be a life-bond of sorts, normally between two Zabrak. Curious that this seems to have manifested itself between a Zabrak and a human. I know of only one instance of this happening before...if this is occurring again, I will have to report it to the...no, not here...I doubt my logs are impervious to the prying eyes of a curios Colonel. Good day to you Colonel Cauil, here's hopes to you being able to curb your dog and my path never crossing with his.