Thursday, January 20, 2005

Personal Entry- Refocus

What an evening…pain, shame, love…One of these days I would love to get through an evening with no major events, no deep thoughtful talks…

I woke and was soon greeted by the chattering of Deomo and Scarlet hunting together. Strange, this recent awareness of his bond with her is making my TaiShan bond with her intrusive at times. Granted, I have long since come to terms with her feelings for him, and vice versa. The current situation… I wish things were different, I wish there was not this uncertainty. But, that cannot be changed. Things are as they are, and I must come to grips with that. Regardless of how the future may play out, my love for Scar’let will remain unchanged.

There is much ahead of us. The child, Scar’let’s training…Kimbrya charged me with ensuring she becomes more focused. Things have been chaotic lately, I have not helped matters. I know Deomo sense the need for her to be focused as well. He enjoys hunting with her. I never seem to have the time too… then there is Kimbrya, the funeral…Scar’let does not have the strength right now for such a morbid event. Perhaps together, Brem and I can establish a ceremony worthy of honoring her, surprise Scar’let with it. Kimbrya was a loving soul. A sad, morbid event is unacceptable. It will be a celebration of life, a time to be thankful for how Kimbrya has touched us all. Yes, I think we will, assuming Brem is up for it. Scar’let deserves the help, she needs the help. She also needs to learn that I will not allow her to shoulder all of the responsibility of the Temple. She needs the help, and I will ensure she gets it.

To Do List:

Meet Brem
Meet Deomo
Ensure Scar’let meets Elca
Take Scar’let away for a break, just the two of us, to heal each other
Research rites of commitment
Ensure item from Temple remains in hiding until the time is right.

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