Personal Entry- Cool Down

I sit in the Theed cantina watching fools run in to ogle at the entertainment, throw them money, and express their love to any beauty in a skirt. The poor ladies, I pity them. Another empty beer bottle. I knew my vision was getting blurry and that I was quickly becoming drunk. Honney walked in to begin to dance. She is such a nice girl. I am glad to see she has gotten back together with her husband. We talked a bit, then I felt sick so I ran out. I sat against a building in hopes that my head would clear. Honey must have been following me for as I lifted my head she was there. We talked at length, I was, unfortunantly mean to her. Ifelt Scarlet contact me via the bond but I told her to see Deomo. I did not want her to see my in my current state. Her Taishan, a human, weak, frightened, and drunk. Duped by Colonel Cauil, not being able to see his own game being played on himself. Perhaps my love of Scarlet has blinded my eyes, and clouded my judegment. Perhaps she would be, as well as the Temple, if I were to refocus on what is happening, and she continues her life without me, perhaps, Deomo instead.

Honney must have called ebe because she soon showed up. She shook her head in shame at my condition and she insisted I went home. Honney and Ebe discussed my well-being as I sat wondering what I should do.

“Another reason why we are no longer together.”

The shock of Ebe’s words, and the shame I felt jarred me back into reality.

Scarlet contacted my again via the bond, this time, panicked, in pain. Gods, she had died, was cloned and now sat wounded and confused in a cloning center. I focused my mind and quickly sobered up enough to travel to her and help her. Had I caused this? Had she felt my shame and my doubts of us? I could barely hold my head up to her I was so ashamed at my thoughts.

We travelled to my house and talked. It pained me to see the worry in her eyes. What have I done?